Why is it so hard to let go of people that continues to cause you pain?
If you think about it, it’s more painful to hold on, than it is to let go. But time and time again, we find ourselves holding on to toxic relationships, marriages, friendships, even family members, when everything…every clue…every sign is pointing to you LETTING GO and walking away. So in this post, I’m going to explore why I feel it is hard to let go.
- You’re comfortable.
Making the decision to leave someone that you have been in a relationship with is not a comfortable feeling by far. Your entire lifestyle may have to change if you go forward with that decision. You realize that staying isn’t the hard part….getting up and leaving is. You may have to leave your home, friends, jobs, etc. There may be a whole bunch of changes that you have to make and you are just not ready for that. So you stick around..through the tears, the sad lonely night (even with them around), and you allow yourself to get sucked in deeper and deeper. Happiness is getting further and further away from your reality, but you can’t seem to find the strength to leave.
2. You don’t want to be alone.
Ok let’s be real. Let’s face it…NO ONE on God’s green Earth actually LIKES to be alone. I don’t think we are programmed to be. So the simple thought of leaving your boyfriend/girlfriend is unbearable. You don’t even think about how you feel NOW…You begin to ponder on how you THINK you will feel later. Lonely, miserable, inadequate, sad, disappointed, and did I mention LONELY?
3. You don’t believe you will find anyone “better”.
Someone make sense of this please. Explain to me what “better” is? I’ve been searching for the answer for a long time, because I know when I was with my ex…I felt the SAME. EXACT. WAY. Even through the lies, cheating, etc…I always felt that I had to stay with him because “I would never find anyone better.” But I realized that the reason I had that mentality is not because I didn’t feel like I would find anyone better…It’s because I didn’t truly believe and understand that I DESERVED better.
4. You simply just don’t know how to.
This is the simplest reason as to why people don’t let go. They don’t know how. They feel that it’s this intricate, scientific, mathematical equation as to how to do it. When really (as hard as it is) all you have to do is just GET UP AND LEAVE. You don’t owe anyone an explanation, you don’t have to turn and jump hoops…all you have to do it go. Again, it won’t be easy, by far. But you CAN DO IT.
So I’ve briefly examined some of the reasons why I feel it is difficult to let go…Talk to me friends. Let me know if you agree, disagree, or if you can add to my list. Lets talk! 🙂
Stay tuned Wednesday, October 14th when I discuss the reasons why I feel you should let go. As always, Thank you for your support! 🙂