27 & Single 11.30.15

The holidays always have it’s way of making a single person take a second and really think about their entire life and how they made it to this point of “singleness” within it. Some, it doesn’t bother. Some really enjoy it. Others (like me) kinda hate it. And even though I have a bunch of people that despise my way of thinking when it comes to my “singleness”, I can’t shake the way I feel and I don’t feel bad about it. So I know a while back I explored the reasons why I feel like I’m single. I think this time though, I’m going to tell you all why I absolutely dislike being 27 and Single.

3. I’m old.

So I recently celebrated a birthday a couple of weeks ago and I seriously sat down and began to think and was taken back by the fact that I had just turned 27 (I’m almost 30 for Christ sake!) and I didn’t have that special person in my life. Ya know, to take me out to dinner, kiss me multiple times, and tell me how much they love me and can’t wait to spend many more birthdays with me. Now of course those aren’t the only reasons for me, but who doesn’t like a little romance? But seriously, I feel that I am getting older and I can’t honestly let go of the feeling of wanting a family. A husband to grow old with and be by my side throughout the most important times of my life and 5 little mini me’s running around wrecking havoc in the house. I want the hardships, the craziness that marriage and children bring. I want that mixed with the beauty that I also fantasize about each day.

2. I’m pretty dope.

Sometimes when I get to feeling down about my “situation”, I look in the mirror and have a full blown out conversation with myself about myself. Crazy right? I know. But I seriously have to remind myself that in the midst of all of my flaws…I’m not too bad. I’m actually pretty dope. I have so much love and affection to offer someone. Hell I have too much. I want to pour all this “loving energy” into a husband. I honestly can’t sit here and say or try to cause you all to believe that I have it all together. Because that would be a lie. I can sometimes be as messed up as they come, but one thing every person that knows me will say is that I have the biggest heart out of everyone they know. I am a good person. I can’t wait to find the guy who will be able to witness my awesomeness for an eternity.

1. *Sings* “I’m so sick of being lonely…”Ā 

Ok, so I know what most will say…”If you can’t handle being alone then you don’t need to be in a relationship….blah blah blah.” And you know what?…I get it. I feel like I can handle being alone. Hell, I really don’t have a choice. But will I ever admit to actually liking it? Nah. Never. I love companionship tooooo much. I love the idea of coming home and telling my husband all about my day. He will take off my shoes and massage my feet while I relax for just a second, then I’ll get up and prepare dinner and we just have this beautiful “unlonely” life together. Lol. I may sound totally silly but I can’t rid my feelings regarding this one. I am not a fan of sleeping alone at night. *shrugs*

So I just explored 3 reasons why I really hate being single. Now you know that I can name a few more like, “I need someone to keep me warm in the winter”, “I want to go on free dates, “, “I need someone to help keep my car maintained….oh and let’s not forget that “Netflix and Chill” is so much better with company near by…lol…but I didn’t want to make the list too long. But seriously, I know and understand that God is up there brewing up the perfect guy for me. He is preparing him, pouring into him, just for little ol me. But patience is one of the virtues that I struggle with each and every day when it comes to this subject. But hey, who knows? Maybe in a few months I’ll be writing a post about the reasons I love my boyfriend…….A girl can dream right? šŸ˜‰

This single chick is signing off!- B

The Slow DanceĀ 

Slow dance with me

Place your right hand in the small of my back

And your left…intertwine it with mine.

Pull me close and rock me side to side.

I rest my head on your chest

While Tevin Campbell plays through the speakers

You’re whispering the words of the song in my ear

“Tell me what you want me to do….my love is always here for you and only you”

I smile.

You kiss my cheek and continue to dance with me slowly.

You would think we were alone.

That there were no other people in the room. Or other couples on the floor

Being locked in your arms, I would have never noticed

I melted away into you as we glided across the room

I felt every inch of your love.

All from just a simple slow dance.

“If you understand just how I feel. Then you should know that my love is real.”

Of course I feel like the “Belle of the Ball”. The Queen that you always made me out to be.

I imagine never having to leave this place.

We are enjoying the moment, even though we know that the song won’t last.

And just like that it slowly comes to an end.

No worries, I’m sure our love will bring us back to this place again

With another beautiful and intimate slow dance.

12:54am

These hours were made for me. My mind just flows to a place away from the reality of the world and I begin to dream with my eyes wide open.
All I can think about is your big, husky arms around me.
We slowly take a trip to the bed, you gently lay me down, and place your warm lips against mine.
You’re whispering in my ear all the things you want to do to me. It’s beautiful.
It’s not just an act for you.
You want to give me an experience.
You want nothing more than to explore my body, making sure that every single inch is touched and pleased to perfection.
You place my pleasure above your own needs and when I moan, and scream, and scratch, and pull, you soon realize that you’re giving me everything I’ve wanted, and needed, and baby so much more.
You’re not about showing me what I’ve been missing, you’d rather show me what I deserve.
You breathe deeply, stroke me slowly and you effortlessly present to me what true love making is all about.
It’s not about the fast pumps and dirty talks.
But it’s more about the “Pull me Closer,” and the slow grinds.
In between every stroke you whisper “I love you, baby” in my ear and I feel it through your heart.
The penetration is good, but our connection is so much better.
Our hearts are in control of the entire process and that alone is enough to take me there.
We are determined to continue until we both climax.
And as the strokes become more rapid and the moans become more vocal, I scream, and we both release.
We lay there.
The adrenaline is rushing through our bodies still as we are amazed at the experience we both just encountered. We are taken away from the magnitude of emotions that are flowing through our spirits.
We lay there silent.
We don’t say a word. But we know that at that moment we got to experience just a small taste of perfection.
Not because we both were perfect, but because we were perfect for each other.
At that moment, he didn’t care about my flaws and I didn’t care about his.
He looked at me as if he’d seen an angel sent straight from heaven, right down to be beside him.
I looked at him like I’ve seen a Greek God, handsome, strong, and able to do no wrong.
True love prevailed and I never wanted to let that moment go……
But then I wake up. Eyes still open, bed still empty, and life still missing true love. But until it comes, I’m ok with dreaming. And with that being said, I don’t mind returning back tomorrow at 12:54am.
~B~