When Letting Go is Hard to Do Pt. 2

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”
Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

So about a week ago, I made a post on the reasons I feel like it’s hard to let go; You’re comfortable, you don’t want to be alone, you don’t believe you will find anyone better, and you simply just don’t know how to. I received a lot of feedback on additional reasons such as, you are simply in love with that person. It was important to me to follow up to explore exactly why I feel you should get up and go.

  1. It’s more painful to hold on to someone then it is to let them go.

Let’s ponder on this for a minute…Every day, you find yourself in your room, at night with ears full of tears and wet pillows. Everything about you has changed. Your smile is different. The way you walk and the way you talk is no longer the same. Your friends, family and loved one’s no longer recognize you. The pain is evident on the inside as well as the outside of you. Letting go doesn’t mean the the pain will automatically be erased, but its a step in the right direction for your strength and happiness to be restored.

2. What you’re holding on to, probably no longer exists.

Man….If this one reason didn’t hit home for me. I remember holding on to relationships based on how my significant other USED to be. He WAS so sweet. He WAS so nice. He USED to do this…He USED to do that. Even though now, he stayed out all night, he never did or said nice things to me, he was rude, mean, and inconsiderate. But since he once showed me how it felt to “feel” loved…my mind wouldn’t allow me to focus on the NOW. I couldn’t focus on what was currently wrong in the relationship. I was holding on to what used to be, believing that it would all come back. That everything would eventually be the same. I understand. It is so hard to change what you’re used to and shift your emotions into reality at times. But in the end, it wills save a lot of hurt and pain if you let it go.

3. You do not want to be held back.

Ever feel like you are continuously moving, but going absolutely no where at the same time? It’s like a ton of bricks are on your back and you can’t do anything about it. When you stay in a toxic relationship, friendships, etc…that’s exactly what it feels like. You can’t move forward. You can’t grow. You’re in a position where you begin to feel like you’re stuck. You can’t turn left or right. Can’t move forward or even back. It effects your mental, physical, and even spiritual growth sometimes. And to me…That’s one of the worst feelings in the world.

So again guys…I have explored just 3 reasons why I feel you should let go. Talk to me. Let me know what you think. Whether you agree, disagree, or have more reasons to add.

Happy Reading! Love,

B

Trilogy by Steffy with Unbelievable Truths

This week’s Sister With Vision is a little different. All week, we have been discussing the subject of “Letting Go” and it is with great pleasure that I feature this beautiful and POWERFUL poem written by a fellow blogger and sorority sister of mine. Enduring what she went through and being able to write about it and starting process of “letting go” makes this woman EXTREMELY strong and brave. Please look at this poem written by Steffy with Unbelievable Truths and visit her website.

https://theunbelievabletruths.wordpress.com/2015/03/01/trilogy-2/

Trilogy

Taken

For someone I used to love and only wanted the best for.

Never thought your hate for me would go this far.

To stoop so low.

Like a thief in the night, you slipped in without fright.

Every word you spoke seemed so sly,

Something was certainly different about the look in your eyes.

I lay there trying to ignore your presence,

Clenching my blanket, the aura in the room was of an unfamiliar essence.

A small breeze followed by a cold hand,

Like a skilled bandit, you maneuvered your way in, touching my skin.

Trying to escape… every struggle, every move…

There was nothing I could do; I was trapped under your weight and wide frame.

You moaned, I cried out “stop… no.”

You grunted in pleasure, I grimaced in pain.

You pumped your frustration and hatred in and out of me,

I lay there limp, no facial expression, no emotions… limp.

For what seemed like an eternity, you were finally finished…

Rolling off me with heavy breathing and exhaustion,

The sound of your zipper, felt like nails on a chalk board.

Without a word you left, I lay there flat… face down.

The front door closed and tears flowed harder soaking the sheets under me.

My most prized possession, gone.

Taken.

The Aftermath

Days, weeks, months had passed.

Seconds, minutes, hours… passed

There had been only one soul I had told,

No one seemed to understand,

I blamed myself every day for what happened to me.

I knew some way somehow, this was all my fault.

Feelings of worthlessness consumed me,

Isolation was the best answer.

Isolation from God, friends, life… men.

God, because I couldn’t fathom why He would let such a thing happen.

Friends, because I was afraid of judgment

Life, what is life… something so valuable… stripped right from under me.

Men, the thought of any intimate interaction with the male species turned my stomach

They made my blood boil…

I was so insecure in my skin, in my hair…

I still felt dirty even after numerous showers and scrubbing myself raw.

No one would love me… I was mentally alone.

One night I was lying in my bed, crying myself to sleep,

Just when I thought there was no hope… He spoke

And that was the last time I cried tears of pain.

God gives the toughest battles to His strongest soldiers…

Recovery

“It took a whole damn year to repair my body

It took a whole damn year….. Gon’ take a long long year for me to trust somebody

Gon’ take long long year.”

For an entire year I went through this entire process of feeling less than the soil of the earth to regaining my mental strength and being comfortable with my physical appearance. It would be a lie if I said I was completely healed and had no days where emotionally I was drained from remembering that day. I had to accept that at any time this could happen to anyone when we least expect it and from who we least expect. We don’t expect anyone that we used to love to hurt us in such a way.

“…Get it together

You wanna heal your body

You have to heal your heart

Whatsoever you sow you will reap

Get it together…”

Get it together! That’s exactly what I decided to do. I couldn’t be “broken” forever. Healing me is first on my to-do list. Learning to love me again is one of the greatest tasks I’ve ever accomplished, aside from loving God. I’ve committed to setting my life up for success. Happiness is a must, I am in control of that at all times. If and when I find a life partner, personally I’ll be ready and fully in love with whom I am before attempting to love someone. Building a good soil within my heart to produce a thriving life harvest. To love, wholeheartedly; something I had not done in many years… I’m excited about it! 🙂

Dr. Klein said that firmly believing that success is healing our psychological-emotional-physical wounds and living rightly in a purified body as the free and fearless spirits that we truly are. The absolute best chance we have to heal is by taking the route of allowing the body to do the work on its own terms, without interfering…

“The choice is yours

No matter what it is

To choose life is to choose to forgive

You don’t have to try

To hurt him and break his pride

To shake that weight off

And you will be ready to fly..”

I chose to fly….

When Two Poets Collide

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Suicidal Thoughts of Love

by BluSatire 

Why would I even attempt to make myself vulnerable ? For you ? Time and time again I gave my all to those in the past hoping that you could possibly reciprocate the feeling. That’s what you do when you find interest in some one right? That’s what you do when you think they are the one? Beyoncé one plus one is two.. But people these days. Is adding to the equation …. See I’m Still trying to get to the other side of the equal sign with you. I subtracted my X from this equation to let you know the sum of us is greater than what was once before . But yet I still don’t understand y I would do it ? To get to the other side we would probably have to reciprocate the feelings just to find out the outcome of whatever could be. But once again …. Y would I do that . See you can’t seem to move on from the past, hurt and emotionally stained, but you flinch when someone tries to wipe it off … Yet I still put my self out there. As a man I know through the years men have hurt you and that’s the reason for your hesitant behavior. It’s the resistance In you I can feel… Sitting here got me singing ” what are you afraid of,this is supposed to be what dreams are made of…..” You sleeping on the one you been dreaming of, if you would just wake up you could Thank me later… I don’t think you caught that, in my feelings like drake. this my my first attempt to be relevant of your list. I wish you could thank me now. But you take me for a joke , and when you start to laugh… Shyt It seems like I just want what I can’t have … Won’t even give me a chance.. Claiming I’m just not as serious as you, if you only new, this is serious…if you only knew … This is serious..This is just the interlude to what I’m trying to show you.. I wish we could be on one page and we sing it it like karaoke… Maybe I could show you your purpose.. In the back of mind I’m wondering if this is even worth it… You wonder why I’m so consistent thinking I’m here to ruin you again, I’m not here for you to show me a good time…I’m here for the positives leave the past behind . Hell I was only tryna get ahead…. But the spotlight makes you nervous.. I’m trying to let you shine , and that’s my purpose… For you I’m about whatever man the past opinions don’t count we the only thing that matter.. It be Up all night , Ima be here , I don’t really wanna lose you this year .. But yet you still afraid.. Your regrets please let me shut them down.. Your. Hurt I notice . We all notice and See would have thought, I’d be caught in your eyes, I’m trying to celebrate with a toast and get lost in the night and make your soul light up … Like fire works.. Maybe then i could find your love.. Nothing fancy and maybe that’s the reason I can’t get to you. You see , I’m putting myself out there it’s a life or death situation. So as I sit here drinking on this suicide… I realize the irony of putting myself out there for your heart, possibly destroying myself and at the same time you are slowly deteriorating your heart and psyche the more you hold on the negatives. I just hope that you think of me, hoping to be unforgettable with my efforts as I dive in head first, Kamikaze… Yea it’s on, you know what it is when I finally make it home. I just hope you miss me a little when in gone… But just know even after me, your problems are far from over … Yea it’s far from over …..

The Hurricane by Me

I want you. I really do. But I can’t let go of the pain they’ve caused. I can’t look at you with a clear vision because my eyes are so clouded with lies, deceit, tears from sadness. Even though my heart is wanting you, my mind is against anything or anyone that would actually leave me happy. See, I know I don’t know much about algebra, but I know that 1 + 1= 2. And I know that’s where you want to be. The other half of that equation. But I can’t let that happen and I see you understand why. But that doesn’t make it fair. You don’t deserve to constantly feel the hurt from my hurt. The pain from my pain. The wrath from my wrath. You deserve more. And that more just isn’t me. I don’t think I’m worth it. See, I’m afraid. I’m scared that, everything I did wrong with him…will transpose with you. I was never good enough even though I felt my love was big enough. And I just can’t let that thought go. Can’t let the negative images of the harsh words leave my mind. You want so bad to love me. But I don’t think you have necessary tools to knock down this thick wall I’ve built. I don’t think you have the perfect type of glue to mend the pieces to my broken heart. And it’s sad because you consume my thoughts. I dream with my eyes wide open when I’m with you. But as soon as I fall asleep, I’m troubled by the nightmares of him. It feels like I don’t care, I laugh and make you feel like you don’t matter. But I’m just hiding my deepest emotions. You’re my deepest emotion. I just wish I could love you the way you love me. And as I sip on this frozen “Hurricane” I sit and think about the effects I have on you. A powerful and damaging storm. Destroying you fast even though you’re trying to draw out the process by loving me slow. I’m affecting your surroundings. You can’t even think straight because you’re so focused on me. My tears are like heavy rain, flooding your soul. I’m trying to save you. Please let me go to drown in my hurt alone. Let the high winds destroy me; I’d rather not destroy you. I’m sure another girl will keep your heart alive. I promise not to let the effects of it turn into a suicide….

Please follow my great friend and ever greater blogger on social media and check out his other posts. Website: BluSatire.com IG/Twitter: @BluSatire