Trilogy by Steffy with Unbelievable Truths

This week’s Sister With Vision is a little different. All week, we have been discussing the subject of “Letting Go” and it is with great pleasure that I feature this beautiful and POWERFUL poem written by a fellow blogger and sorority sister of mine. Enduring what she went through and being able to write about it and starting process of “letting go” makes this woman EXTREMELY strong and brave. Please look at this poem written by Steffy with Unbelievable Truths and visit her website.

https://theunbelievabletruths.wordpress.com/2015/03/01/trilogy-2/

Trilogy

Taken

For someone I used to love and only wanted the best for.

Never thought your hate for me would go this far.

To stoop so low.

Like a thief in the night, you slipped in without fright.

Every word you spoke seemed so sly,

Something was certainly different about the look in your eyes.

I lay there trying to ignore your presence,

Clenching my blanket, the aura in the room was of an unfamiliar essence.

A small breeze followed by a cold hand,

Like a skilled bandit, you maneuvered your way in, touching my skin.

Trying to escape… every struggle, every move…

There was nothing I could do; I was trapped under your weight and wide frame.

You moaned, I cried out “stop… no.”

You grunted in pleasure, I grimaced in pain.

You pumped your frustration and hatred in and out of me,

I lay there limp, no facial expression, no emotions… limp.

For what seemed like an eternity, you were finally finished…

Rolling off me with heavy breathing and exhaustion,

The sound of your zipper, felt like nails on a chalk board.

Without a word you left, I lay there flat… face down.

The front door closed and tears flowed harder soaking the sheets under me.

My most prized possession, gone.

Taken.

The Aftermath

Days, weeks, months had passed.

Seconds, minutes, hours… passed

There had been only one soul I had told,

No one seemed to understand,

I blamed myself every day for what happened to me.

I knew some way somehow, this was all my fault.

Feelings of worthlessness consumed me,

Isolation was the best answer.

Isolation from God, friends, life… men.

God, because I couldn’t fathom why He would let such a thing happen.

Friends, because I was afraid of judgment

Life, what is life… something so valuable… stripped right from under me.

Men, the thought of any intimate interaction with the male species turned my stomach

They made my blood boil…

I was so insecure in my skin, in my hair…

I still felt dirty even after numerous showers and scrubbing myself raw.

No one would love me… I was mentally alone.

One night I was lying in my bed, crying myself to sleep,

Just when I thought there was no hope… He spoke

And that was the last time I cried tears of pain.

God gives the toughest battles to His strongest soldiers…

Recovery

“It took a whole damn year to repair my body

It took a whole damn year….. Gon’ take a long long year for me to trust somebody

Gon’ take long long year.”

For an entire year I went through this entire process of feeling less than the soil of the earth to regaining my mental strength and being comfortable with my physical appearance. It would be a lie if I said I was completely healed and had no days where emotionally I was drained from remembering that day. I had to accept that at any time this could happen to anyone when we least expect it and from who we least expect. We don’t expect anyone that we used to love to hurt us in such a way.

“…Get it together

You wanna heal your body

You have to heal your heart

Whatsoever you sow you will reap

Get it together…”

Get it together! That’s exactly what I decided to do. I couldn’t be “broken” forever. Healing me is first on my to-do list. Learning to love me again is one of the greatest tasks I’ve ever accomplished, aside from loving God. I’ve committed to setting my life up for success. Happiness is a must, I am in control of that at all times. If and when I find a life partner, personally I’ll be ready and fully in love with whom I am before attempting to love someone. Building a good soil within my heart to produce a thriving life harvest. To love, wholeheartedly; something I had not done in many years… I’m excited about it! 🙂

Dr. Klein said that firmly believing that success is healing our psychological-emotional-physical wounds and living rightly in a purified body as the free and fearless spirits that we truly are. The absolute best chance we have to heal is by taking the route of allowing the body to do the work on its own terms, without interfering…

“The choice is yours

No matter what it is

To choose life is to choose to forgive

You don’t have to try

To hurt him and break his pride

To shake that weight off

And you will be ready to fly..”

I chose to fly….

Advertisements

My Thoughts on Loving You 

Loving you

Is the easiest thing I’ve ever learned to do. 

What’s hard is standing by your side as you love someone else. 

My heart is full of you while yours is full of her. 

Can’t you see…

I smile when you smile.

I laugh when you laugh. 

And when you’re at your lowest

I feel your pain and 

I’m there when you fall

To place you right back on your feet. 

Can’t you see…  

When I’m with you

When I touch you

And hold you, and even when I kiss you 

That I’m the best version of myself. 

I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.

But…

Your heart is filled with emotions

And you just can’t let them loose

I sit and watch you pour out your soul. 

You hope for more, 

Wish for more,

Pray that her love 

Completely mimics your love

But in the end 

The fact remains 

That you’re just a person,

In love on your own. 

And I am one in the same. 

400 Lincoln Block by Maxx Kenif

400 Lincoln Block

I close my eyes and dream,
As I sit back and think about the past when the thick smoke paints a picture of a time of the old me.
The moon plays the role of a heart that stood strong in the night when it shinned on the one that seek answers.
The sun comes out and the angles give blessings of forgiveness no matter what the sin may be.
My surroundings gave me a reason
to have an attitude on my shoulders and fill my eyes with someone else’s rage,
My city gave me a brush to paint a image for the next child but instead we took a talent and changed a mind set of anyone that had innocents.

My blood drove fast because my mind was slow, getting high off of what we call now but then never understood the present when the present was trying to explain what future was trying too say this hole time.
An image I thought was worth a life time, but never knew that little box I lived in will never last forever.

I must find forever…

photo

Name’s Maxx Kenif, I’m from Orange NJ. I’m part of “Cloud Boyz” music group from out here and under ATM music label. I started doing music videos at first and that’s how maxx kenif was created, I spent my time aside that doing a lot of writing on my free time and that’s later on when I got into music. I enjoy free writing just to vent my thoughts. It can either be on my music or a simple poem.

twitter: @maxxkenif
ig : @maxxkenif

“Cloud” by maxx kenif

When Two Poets Collide

IMG_4918

Suicidal Thoughts of Love

by BluSatire 

Why would I even attempt to make myself vulnerable ? For you ? Time and time again I gave my all to those in the past hoping that you could possibly reciprocate the feeling. That’s what you do when you find interest in some one right? That’s what you do when you think they are the one? Beyoncé one plus one is two.. But people these days. Is adding to the equation …. See I’m Still trying to get to the other side of the equal sign with you. I subtracted my X from this equation to let you know the sum of us is greater than what was once before . But yet I still don’t understand y I would do it ? To get to the other side we would probably have to reciprocate the feelings just to find out the outcome of whatever could be. But once again …. Y would I do that . See you can’t seem to move on from the past, hurt and emotionally stained, but you flinch when someone tries to wipe it off … Yet I still put my self out there. As a man I know through the years men have hurt you and that’s the reason for your hesitant behavior. It’s the resistance In you I can feel… Sitting here got me singing ” what are you afraid of,this is supposed to be what dreams are made of…..” You sleeping on the one you been dreaming of, if you would just wake up you could Thank me later… I don’t think you caught that, in my feelings like drake. this my my first attempt to be relevant of your list. I wish you could thank me now. But you take me for a joke , and when you start to laugh… Shyt It seems like I just want what I can’t have … Won’t even give me a chance.. Claiming I’m just not as serious as you, if you only new, this is serious…if you only knew … This is serious..This is just the interlude to what I’m trying to show you.. I wish we could be on one page and we sing it it like karaoke… Maybe I could show you your purpose.. In the back of mind I’m wondering if this is even worth it… You wonder why I’m so consistent thinking I’m here to ruin you again, I’m not here for you to show me a good time…I’m here for the positives leave the past behind . Hell I was only tryna get ahead…. But the spotlight makes you nervous.. I’m trying to let you shine , and that’s my purpose… For you I’m about whatever man the past opinions don’t count we the only thing that matter.. It be Up all night , Ima be here , I don’t really wanna lose you this year .. But yet you still afraid.. Your regrets please let me shut them down.. Your. Hurt I notice . We all notice and See would have thought, I’d be caught in your eyes, I’m trying to celebrate with a toast and get lost in the night and make your soul light up … Like fire works.. Maybe then i could find your love.. Nothing fancy and maybe that’s the reason I can’t get to you. You see , I’m putting myself out there it’s a life or death situation. So as I sit here drinking on this suicide… I realize the irony of putting myself out there for your heart, possibly destroying myself and at the same time you are slowly deteriorating your heart and psyche the more you hold on the negatives. I just hope that you think of me, hoping to be unforgettable with my efforts as I dive in head first, Kamikaze… Yea it’s on, you know what it is when I finally make it home. I just hope you miss me a little when in gone… But just know even after me, your problems are far from over … Yea it’s far from over …..

The Hurricane by Me

I want you. I really do. But I can’t let go of the pain they’ve caused. I can’t look at you with a clear vision because my eyes are so clouded with lies, deceit, tears from sadness. Even though my heart is wanting you, my mind is against anything or anyone that would actually leave me happy. See, I know I don’t know much about algebra, but I know that 1 + 1= 2. And I know that’s where you want to be. The other half of that equation. But I can’t let that happen and I see you understand why. But that doesn’t make it fair. You don’t deserve to constantly feel the hurt from my hurt. The pain from my pain. The wrath from my wrath. You deserve more. And that more just isn’t me. I don’t think I’m worth it. See, I’m afraid. I’m scared that, everything I did wrong with him…will transpose with you. I was never good enough even though I felt my love was big enough. And I just can’t let that thought go. Can’t let the negative images of the harsh words leave my mind. You want so bad to love me. But I don’t think you have necessary tools to knock down this thick wall I’ve built. I don’t think you have the perfect type of glue to mend the pieces to my broken heart. And it’s sad because you consume my thoughts. I dream with my eyes wide open when I’m with you. But as soon as I fall asleep, I’m troubled by the nightmares of him. It feels like I don’t care, I laugh and make you feel like you don’t matter. But I’m just hiding my deepest emotions. You’re my deepest emotion. I just wish I could love you the way you love me. And as I sip on this frozen “Hurricane” I sit and think about the effects I have on you. A powerful and damaging storm. Destroying you fast even though you’re trying to draw out the process by loving me slow. I’m affecting your surroundings. You can’t even think straight because you’re so focused on me. My tears are like heavy rain, flooding your soul. I’m trying to save you. Please let me go to drown in my hurt alone. Let the high winds destroy me; I’d rather not destroy you. I’m sure another girl will keep your heart alive. I promise not to let the effects of it turn into a suicide….

Please follow my great friend and ever greater blogger on social media and check out his other posts. Website: BluSatire.com IG/Twitter: @BluSatire

the Letter B by Dominique Johnson

With so much talent in this world, it is simply an honor to be able to feature just a handful of them on my blog. So for #TalentTuesday, I would like to feature one of my newly found Poet interests, Dominique Johnson. Please enjoy 🙂

the Letter B
(read aloud for theatrical emphasis)

If I were a bee I would live & love life in the highest degree…
—–Possessing an aire of the highest esteem——
“Different in every regard,” is the aura of this bee.
“Yes Indeed!
“A no-handout-standout” bee is what you would see….
……….BuzZzZz…buzzzzzz…..
I would buzz to a distinguished tune…
Play me to Ratpack music,
“Fly me to the Moon” comes to mind… soul music and the like….
I would live life each day – from golden sunrise to skies of grey…
Oh if I were a bee… I would just be me.

About Dominque:

IMG_0158“I’m a passionate writer. Until I feel like a piece is completely conveyed in the mannerisms that accurately depict my mindset and feelings, I will edit and edit again to get it just right. I feel like the process is just important as the product and so each poem takes on a body of its own in regards to spacing, pauses for thought, and overall flow and rhyme scheme.” -Dominique Johnson

Please support this talented young poet by checking out more of his work at the website listed below and following his social media accounts.

The Continuation of Black Art. | A collection of poetry and pondered thoughts.
officialdomj.wordpress.com

Twitter/Instagram: officialdomj

Thanks for reading and if you would like to be a featured poet, please email me  at bridgette.renee.blair@gmaill.com.

B

The Slow Dance 

Slow dance with me

Place your right hand in the small of my back

And your left…intertwine it with mine.

Pull me close and rock me side to side.

I rest my head on your chest

While Tevin Campbell plays through the speakers

You’re whispering the words of the song in my ear

“Tell me what you want me to do….my love is always here for you and only you”

I smile.

You kiss my cheek and continue to dance with me slowly.

You would think we were alone.

That there were no other people in the room. Or other couples on the floor

Being locked in your arms, I would have never noticed

I melted away into you as we glided across the room

I felt every inch of your love.

All from just a simple slow dance.

“If you understand just how I feel. Then you should know that my love is real.”

Of course I feel like the “Belle of the Ball”. The Queen that you always made me out to be.

I imagine never having to leave this place.

We are enjoying the moment, even though we know that the song won’t last.

And just like that it slowly comes to an end.

No worries, I’m sure our love will bring us back to this place again

With another beautiful and intimate slow dance.

Deja Vu

I swear we have been to this exact same place before.

I remember it like it was yesterday
It was the first time you put your arms around me
It completely made my body come alive
And when you first laid your lips against mine
It took me to a place of bliss that I never even knew existed
When you first said my name, softly and with passion
It sent chills up and down my spine
And every time you’ve done those things again, they always felt like the very first time
The first time we made sweet love
I didn’t want it to end
The passion, deep breathing, slow stroking, was the only thing I wanted at that moment.
I used to sit and dream about making connections and feeling the way I do
And then one day you came into my life and showed me what I’ve been missing.
I’ll never forget the way you made me feel when you placed your big hands around my waist
You stood right behind me, and held me close, making sure that our bodies were connected
You kissed my cheek, then my neck,
My shoulder, then my back
I squirmed and moaned and when I thought you were going further and lower
You came back up to my ear and whispered how much you loved me.
It wasn’t just about the sex. Our souls connected.
The smile on my face and the light in my eyes was enough to make you feel that the love you had for me was more than reciprocated.

This feeling. I remember this feeling.
I never want to let it go.
Do you remember this?
I think it’s the perfect form of Deja Vu.

12:54am

These hours were made for me. My mind just flows to a place away from the reality of the world and I begin to dream with my eyes wide open.
All I can think about is your big, husky arms around me.
We slowly take a trip to the bed, you gently lay me down, and place your warm lips against mine.
You’re whispering in my ear all the things you want to do to me. It’s beautiful.
It’s not just an act for you.
You want to give me an experience.
You want nothing more than to explore my body, making sure that every single inch is touched and pleased to perfection.
You place my pleasure above your own needs and when I moan, and scream, and scratch, and pull, you soon realize that you’re giving me everything I’ve wanted, and needed, and baby so much more.
You’re not about showing me what I’ve been missing, you’d rather show me what I deserve.
You breathe deeply, stroke me slowly and you effortlessly present to me what true love making is all about.
It’s not about the fast pumps and dirty talks.
But it’s more about the “Pull me Closer,” and the slow grinds.
In between every stroke you whisper “I love you, baby” in my ear and I feel it through your heart.
The penetration is good, but our connection is so much better.
Our hearts are in control of the entire process and that alone is enough to take me there.
We are determined to continue until we both climax.
And as the strokes become more rapid and the moans become more vocal, I scream, and we both release.
We lay there.
The adrenaline is rushing through our bodies still as we are amazed at the experience we both just encountered. We are taken away from the magnitude of emotions that are flowing through our spirits.
We lay there silent.
We don’t say a word. But we know that at that moment we got to experience just a small taste of perfection.
Not because we both were perfect, but because we were perfect for each other.
At that moment, he didn’t care about my flaws and I didn’t care about his.
He looked at me as if he’d seen an angel sent straight from heaven, right down to be beside him.
I looked at him like I’ve seen a Greek God, handsome, strong, and able to do no wrong.
True love prevailed and I never wanted to let that moment go……
But then I wake up. Eyes still open, bed still empty, and life still missing true love. But until it comes, I’m ok with dreaming. And with that being said, I don’t mind returning back tomorrow at 12:54am.
~B~